May 02, 2015

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Tommy's Test

A long time ago in the village of Quadron there lived a boy named Tommy. Tommy was a smart kid and his school teachers didn't like it. He always questioned everything.

At this point in history, Quadron's purpose of education was to get kids ready to work. The average graduate was 14-15. Before graduating, every child had to pass the Common Sense Quiz. This was a quiz that measured the basic knowledge of each person deeming them fit or unfit to work.

When preparing for this quiz in school, the first thing the kids had to learn was what profession they wanted to be a part of. In this section, Tommy found out that he wanted to be a police officer. He knew it was his destiny. "There's nothing else I can be." Said Tommy.

So, when he had any spare time after school he always did police and detective like work. He solved many crimes around his home and his village. Most notably, he solved the case of the creaking bed. In this case, he found out that a poltergeist would shake his parents bed at night some times just to scare them or try to awake them.

When Tommy's teachers has started moving through the curriculum, he felt as though there were things he didn't need to know. "Why do I need to know how to ballroom dance if I'm going to be a police officer?" He would ask.

To which his teachers replied "Because everyone has to, even us teachers."

"Why do I need to learn how to spell words backwards?" He would ask. To which the teachers replied "because your parents had to learn this also!" They would reply.

Eventually, the school took things too far. When they were teaching Tommy how to clean the hoof of a horse he broke out into a fit "why do we need to know this?"

"Because, it's on the common sense quiz." The teachers said.

"Why is this on the test?"

Upset because he had never been asked this question before, the teacher replied "leave this class now. Go see the principal."

When Tommy got into the principal's office he was questioned as to why he was sent there. He explained that he only questioned the teacher as to why he needed to know how to clean a horse's hoof.

"Great question, Tommy." Said Principal Rackus. "I do wonder what got that into the curriculum. Let me call the previous principal."

And so he did. When he got off the phone, the previous principal said he didn't know but he gave Principal Rackus the phone number of the principal before him.

And so he called and asked "why do we still teach children to clean hoofs?" To which this old man replied "Oh yes, of course. We teach them this so that they can clean their own horses hooves. It's poor for transportation if you don't"

After Principal Rackus hung up the phone, he felt a bit embarrassed. He said to Tommy "This crazy old man doesn't even know that people travel with cars these days. He thinks we still travel by horse."

"Well Gee Dang it" yelled Tommy, "we ought to change this curriculum."

And so they did. Principal Rackus changed the curriculum to teach children how to clean car tires with hoof care products.

In the end, Tommy didn't pass the Common Sense Quiz or become a police officer because he was not able to read a book backwards and understand it's meaning. It's a shame Tommy failed this section because he would have been a great and passionate police officer.

Sometimes in life you need to learn how to swim if you'd like to be allowed to fly a kite. Don't ask me why, it's just part of the curriculum.

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